Learning to be Happy

I learned something new:  "happiness" can be learned and acquired through effort and discipline.  Now, I know that as Christians we are told that happiness is different than the deep, abiding joy we can know with the certainty of our salvation. So let's just say that being outwardly and inwardly happy (contented, joyful, relaxed, cheerful, lighthearted) is something that should be much easier for Christians than non-Christians because we have God as our strength, our Rock, our salvation, our friend, our helper and our adviser.  Christians should be the happiest people on earth.  The problem is that I know a LOT of Christians who aren't very joyful or even happy.  What's the deal?

Well, a few weeks ago I checked a book out of the library after hearing a friend talk about it and reading some magazine articles by the author:  The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  I didn't have high expectations when I started it because I thought it would be another silly self-help book with no real substance.  What I found was a thoughtful, intelligent, well-researched, well-documented, fun-to-read and actually quite helpful book!  Now Gretchen is not a Christian (she identified herself as an agnostic in the book) but so many of the "happiness" principles she talked about are backed up by scripture.  And as a person, I found a "kindred spirit" in Gretchen.  We both love to read and write, are extreme list-makers, tend to be critical in nature, and have a natural bent toward being-- shall we say-- less than happy.

I'm just going to share some nuggets I gleaned from her writing.  I don't really care if you agree, I have merely found that they make sense to me and have actually turned me to a deeper dependence and trust in Jesus as the source of my true happiness.

1.  Acting happy and being happy can be learned skills even if that's not your natural personality bent.

2.  Goals are something you reach.  Resolutions are something you keep (they don't end).  The author constantly keeps a list of current resolutions she's working on that will contribute to her happiness.  Things like "cutting people slack."

3.  What's fun for other people may not be fun for you, and vice versa.

4.  "Happiness comes not from having more, not from having less, but from wanting what you have."  (Sounds like scriptures I've read about being content in all circumstances.)

5.  You'll be happier if you just be yourself.  Acknowledge what makes you happy, not what you wish made you happy.  Many times we don't approve of our own preferences or "likes."  Sometimes I may wish I liked working out or watching sports or decorating cakes or planning large parties, but I don't.  I do like watching old movies, reading lots of books, photography, writing and taking long walks.

6.  When you're pursuing your passion, don't worry about getting results.  That's what keeps a passion enjoyable.  You see, I like photography and I like writing.  This means that blogging is perfect for me.  If I get bogged down in how many people are reading my blog or whether I'm saying stunningly original things, I'll never post anything.  I blog because I enjoy it.  Period.

7.  Realize that many people don't want to be happy or even to seem to be happy.  There's probably nothing you can do about them and their refusal to be happy, but you don't have to let their moods take over yours.

8.  Some people say they don't have a right to be happy because there is so much suffering around.  But being unhappy doesn't relieve any suffering, and if you are cheerful perhaps you're more likely to actually improve the atmosphere around you and be more of a mind to help suffering people.

9.  Some people use their own unhappiness to gain pity or attention or to inspire guilt.  Don't get sucked in.

10.  It's actually more selfless to act happy than unhappy.  It takes discipline, energy, generosity, humility and tremendous effort.

11.  It  takes discipline, energy, generosity, humility and tremendous effort to appear happy and indeed to be happy.  This bears repeating.  As many times as possible.

12.  Be willing to be pleased about things rather than looking for opportunities to critique things.  Train yourself to "give positive reviews" rather than negative critiques.

13.  If something is worth doing, it's worth doing badly  (This sounds bad out of context.  It refers to not letting perfectionism or fear of failure keep you from pursuing a passion).

14.  If you can do it in less than a minute, do it now.  (Procrastination and clutter are the source of much unhappiness for many people).

15.  Do what ought to be done.

16.  Cut people slack.  Realize that you don't know what's going on in that rude salesperson's life.  Cut them some slack and don't get so bent out of shape.  Same goes for annoyances brought on by family members.  Just cut them some slack for a change.

17.  Be a satisficer:  don't examine every single option before making a decision.  Be happy when you find something (a purchase, a vacation destination...you get the idea) that meets your requirements, then look no further.  A "maximizer" drives themselves crazy by checking out every possible option before making a choice, then often continues searching after a choice is made just to make sure they did the right thing!  Maybe good enough is good enough.

So, those are some of the concepts that were helpful to me.  Please just read the book for yourself if you're interested in the topic.  I skimmed some sections that I wasn't interested in, but most of it was fascinating and enlightening.

Be happy today!

Or maybe I should say bee happy.  I like puns.

Finish Stuff

I really like closure.  I like things to be wrapped up.  Completed.  Spick and span. (Guess what?  Here's the definition of "spick and span" from Wikipedia:

A spick was a spike or nail, a span was a very fresh wood chip, and thus the phrase meant clean and neat and all in place, as in being nailed down.

See?  Nailed down!  That's what I like.  This is easier said than done however.  I will cook and clean up-- to a certain extent.  I might just let a few dishes soak or drain in the sink.  Who wants to actually dry stuff and put it away?  If I leave those dishes there, I can go fold 3/4 of a load of laundry.  Or go through half the mail.  Or answer a couple of emails.  

I'm trying to be more cognizant of finishing one activity before I start another.  




This is how far I had gotten with folding three loads of laundry when I suddenly felt like I MUST move on to something else.  I wanted to take a walk (for exercise) and do something fun like blog.  And I was burnin' daylight just folding all those silly clothes.  But, I sucked it up and finished before I left the house.  Future Lisa was very happy with past Lisa for finishing something.

I have two theories about this.  1.  I intend to finish something, but don't because I get bored or distracted.  2.  I never did intend to finish something-- I just wanted to start it to make it look like I was accomplishing the task.  Did you ever leave a vacuum cleaner sitting out just so people would think you were in the middle of cleaning-- that's why things look dirty-- not because I'm less than diligent.

It's decidedly disheartening to start six projects in one day and not finish any of them.  Then things start to get crazy.  My new resolution for the next couple of weeks is simply "Finish stuff."  It's short and easy to remember which is crucial for an easily-distracted person such as myself.  And by "stuff" I am referring to even a small segment of a larger project.  After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.

I thought it would be a good idea to keep some sage advice in mind to help me in my quest to Finish Stuff.  Here's a helpful one:  "My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.  So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake.  I feel better already."  --Dave Barry

Oh wait.  Maybe this one is better:  "Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  --James 1:4

That works for me! 

Hey, I gotta go.  I have stuff to finish...

Times They are a-Changin (in Gettysburg)

Times they are a-changing.  Where is that from?  Is it a song?  Just an expression?  I'm not sure.  Of course, I had to look it up.  It's a Bob Dylan song of course! It's from 1964 and is called "The Times They are a-Changin.'" Here's the last verse:

The line, it is drawn, the curse, it is cast
The slow one will later be fast
And the present now will soon be the past
The order is rapidly fading
The first one now will later be last
For the times, they are a changing.

 Peter, Paul and Mary sang it too-- in 1966.  Oh my.

Anyway, I'm here to talk about Gettysburg today.  My son has been away from Pennsylvania for over a year now.  I've been taking pictures of some of the changes around town so he won't be too shocked when he comes home.  Because "the present now will soon be the past" etc., etc.

So, let's see.  I should have "before" pictures of stuff for those of you who aren't from around here, but this is mainly for my boy, so here goes:

First of all, apparently Pennsylvania is making a huge effort to replace all their ailing bridges.  We have had a spate of bridge closures over the past couple of years.  They've been working on this one on the Fairfield Road since... last spring?  One lane of traffic can still go across-- they've installed a temporary light there.

And while they're at it, at the same intersection they've closed that end of Breams Hill!  I always hated riding my bike up there anyway.  I think this may be a permanent closure, but I'm not really sure. You have to go up the road and come in from the other side now.

Then there's the bridge over Rock Creek on Rt. 116 at the other side of town.  That one was completely closed for many many months, but now is beautifully finished and open to traffic once again.

Closer to our house, there's a bridge which some people call the John Eisenhower Bridge.  John was the son of Dwight D. and Mamie Eisenhower, whose farm is next door the location of the bridge.  John had a home between his parent's Gettysburg farm and Willoughby Run which the bridge spans.  However, when our kids were little, and the bridge was still open to traffic, our son named it "The Lightning Bridge."  I'm not sure if it was because the structure of it looked like lightning to him, or because it rumbled like thunder when we drove over it.  In any case, it will always be The Lightning Bridge to us.

The Lightning Bridge was closed to traffic in the early 1990s when a new access road was installed nearby.  Then, in 1996, the bridge was lifted completely off its foundation during a major flood.  It was rebuilt using most of its original parts a couple of years later.  Last spring enough of the floor boards had rotted completely through that the powers-that-be completely closed the bridge to pedestrian/bike/horse traffic (except for those people who constantly broke through the plastic mesh meant to keep them out).  We are delighted that they are finally working on it, replacing boards so it can be re-opened.

This is how it looked all summer and fall until recently.

New floorboards!

The boards they have removed make pretty good seesaws I have found.

And... I don't have pictures, but the bridge over Belmont Road has been re-opened after lo these many years of closure.

Besides the bridges, they are also putting in a walking path at the seminary, snaking it through the lawn on the hill where people like to sled.  I keep forgetting to take pictures of that too.  Along with some kind of new markers they put up at the rec park fitness trail-- they have murals on them.  If I ever get them photographed, I'll add the pictures in here.

Another major event was the demolition and rebuilding of the McDonald's on Steinwehr Ave.  The old building was built in 1974 (I think that's what the Gburg Times said, anyways).  In the course of a few short weeks, they had cleared the old structure completely away and built a whole brand-spankin-new building in its place.  It's quite trendy now.  TVs, cute little stools...

Katie and I had lunch there to test the new facilities.  Brand new digital menu boards and they don't list their salads anywhere?  Strange.

Cute seating area, but doesn't seem to be any more spacious than before.

The other major demolition project around town was Keefauver Elementary School.  Keefauver was built in the late 1950s.  My husband attended there, as did all three of my kids. My husband's grandmother even worked in the cafeteria. We have very fond memories.  It used to be a K-6 building.  Then K-3.  Then they closed it... very sad to us.  At least they waited til all three of the kids were done.  Then it was used by various other groups until this summer.  The school district has decided they need to demolish the Middle School and rebuild a new one, using the land Keefauver was on for a parking lot or some such thing.

Demolition has begun.

This was from this past summer.

This is now.  Zero buildings.

This is the view from the back of Keefauver-- in other words, this is where Field Day used to be held.

Also, the sledding hill.  It's gone.

And Lincoln Elementary next door?  That was the High School when my husband attended.  My son didn't go there at all.  My girls went there when it was newly renovated into a 4-5 building.  Now it's a K-5 building, but they are tearing up the play area-- something to do with the whole Middle School project, I'm sure.

View of Lincoln from the perspective of Keefauver.

 To end on a happier note, fun food abounds in Gettysburg!  There are now two cupcake places.  

On Baltimore St. near Lefever St.

And Johnny Como's on Chambersburg St.

And best of all, Mr. G's is back-- at a great location on the corner of Baltimore and Lefever Streets.

Sorry for the drive-by picture.  I'll do better next time.

So, there you have it... more than you ever wanted to know about good old (and new) Gettysburg, PA.

The times sure are a-changin, but it's still a lovely town!

Now, just you wait for a future post about how things have changed since the year 2000 around here!  Maybe I'll do that for New Year's...