Cat got your tongue?

 I was probably four or five years old the first time I recall being offended by someone.

 On the above picture, I am the baby.  Isn't that a cute family all dressed up for church?  Well, a few years later, I was a very bashful child.  I remember that we were at a restaurant/event venue called Hickory Bridge Farms.  My dad would often call square dances there.  In case you don't know what that means-- at a square dance you have to have a "caller."  He tells the dancers when to "do-si-do" or "allemande left" or "swing your partner."

 This would have been in the 60s... on the picture above, the caller has the microphone.  Although at a real square dance, the caller stands to the side, not in the middle of the dancers for goodness sake.   It was a lot of fun to watch the dancers twirl around the floor.  The problem was that sometimes people would have the nerve to try to talk to me!  At the particular event I recall, a man kept trying to get me to talk to him and I kept hiding behind my mother and her skirt.  He got right down to my level, put his face close to mine and smilingly (and sinisterly to my little mind) said, "Whatsa matter?  Cat got your tongue?"  No, mister!  What would the cat be doing with my tongue?!  I just don't want to talk to you!!

This is a picture of Bogey, and I sincerely doubt that he was the man at the square dance, but  in my mind's eye, this is pretty much who I saw.   What if this guy got in your 5-year-old face and said that to you!  See?  Scary, huh?

I was highly offended by him making fun of me.  And I was embarrassed at being so shy.  Apparently this habit, this sin, of being offended has stayed with me until the present day.  That's been a long. long time.  It's been a constant struggle in my life.

This August, I attended a Joyce Meyer conference and I've been mulling over some of her points ever since.  I think God wanted me to be there just to hear this part of her message.  Here's some of what I'm trying to learn:

 --When you let yourself be offended, you are giving control of your day to other people:  you are at the mercy of what they say and do.  It makes ya prickly. 

Being offended doesn't fix anything or anyone.  It just makes you bitter, sullen, unhappy and resentful.

 --When you live in a state of offense, you get stagnant.  You stay focused on the person that offended you and on your own self-righteousness when you could be focused on God and His word.  God has forgiven me for everything.  Can't I forgive?  We reap what we sow.  I'd rather reap mercy, so I better not sow judgment.  (Galatians 6:7  "People reap what they sow...").

 --In the picture above is a crazy dead branch growing right out of an otherwise beautiful, healthy-looking tree.  Do I want to allow a dead, bitter branch to sit there in my life?  No I don't.  I need to keep saying, "I will not be offended."  and  "I am difficult to offend."  and  "I am quick to forgive."  And I need to keep praying that those words would be true.  And I need to continually pray for strength against temptation.  Romans 12:21 says "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

 --If you're still complaining about someone, you haven't forgiven them.  You still have anger or offense toward them.  Don't let your heart get hard toward people (like this road!).  We never have enough information to judge someone else's heart.  We only know what we know about them.  There's a lot that only God knows.  I need to forgive, get out of the way, and let God take care of justice.  Hebrews 10:30 says "For we know him who said, 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay.'"  It's not up to me to make someone "pay" for offending me.

--This is disgusting.  It's a batch of hardshell crabs that someone dumped alongside the road.  They have reeked for days.  You know why they stink?  They are decaying.  Rotten.  Dead.  Corrupted.  Some people do things and say things that reek.  They are offensive.  Sometimes we just take things the wrong way because we are quick to judge.  Then we reek.  Life is too short and each day is too precious to waste it on being offended, angry, bitter or resentful (no matter the cause of the offense).  Keep in step with the Spirit instead.  "Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."  Galatians 5:25.  Resist the temptation to attribute bad motives to people.  Believe the best about them.  Give them the benefit of the doubt. 

Remember Ephesians 4:26-27?  "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."   The devil has to get a foothold before he can get a stronghold.  Don't let the sun go down again today with you still harboring anything against anyone.  Remember, if you're still complaining about someone, you haven't let it go yet.  Let sunsets remind you of this verse and this principle.  I pray that God will continue to remind me too.

Don't let the sun go down on your anger.

If you go to bed free of offense today, you can wake up to a fresh sparkling new day tomorrow.

 I Corinthians 13:  Love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

 Ephesians 4:30-32  "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

With a heart clear of offense and sin, greet the sunrise:  "In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice;
   in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly."  Psalm 52:3

Joyce Meyer's book is called Power Thoughts:  12 Strategies to win the battle of the mind.