Finishing stuff: a presidential mission

A son died from getting a blister on his toe while playing tennis.
One was caught skinny dipping before going to work.
One would throw a napkin over his wife's face when she would have a seizure during a dinner party.
His wife ran his business after he was permanently disabled by a stroke.
He slept in a pink bedroom.
A son was hit and killed by a train.
His kids brought a pony into the house.

What am I talking about?  I'm talking about the President of the United States.

A few days ago I wrote a post about my quest to "finish stuff."  Well, a number of years ago I began the arduous task of reading a biography about each one of our 44 U.S. Presidents (actually there weren't that many when I started this endeavor).  I don't know how long ago it's been, but it all started because I read "John Adams" by David McCollough which was published in 2002. I think it was a pretty recent book when I read it, so I'll say I started in 2003.  David McCollough is a fabulous writer-- apparently quite inspiring actually!  Not all of the other biographies I've read have been quite that good.

After John Adams (our second President), I went back and read one about George Washington then worked my way forward through presidential biographies which I checked out of our local library.  Oddly enough, they don't have a biography for every president.  Some were missing, so I just read short pieces about those presidents from books that had write-ups on all the presidents.

The trivia I shared at the beginning of the blog is all true.  Calvin Coolidge's 16-year-old son didn't wear socks when playing on the White House tennis courts, developed a blister which got infected and he died because antibiotics were not available then.  The Coolidge's were never the same after that.

Apparently several presidents were known to skinny dip in the Potomac.  There were some embarrassing situations that came about as a result.  John Quincy Adams was the first.

William McKinley's wife, Ida, had epilepsy.  If she had a seizure during state dinners, the president would just drop a napkin over her face and when the seizure subsided, he would remove the napkin and just keep going as though nothing happened.

Woodrow Wilson had a severe stroke while in office, and his wife essentially ran the country while concealing the fact that he was completely incapacitated.  The whole story of Woodrow and his women is fascinating.  And yes, I do read about the history and politics too.  But the human interest stories are very engaging!

Mamie Eisenhower's favorite color was pink, so Ike got to sleep in a pink bedroom, not only at the White House but also at their home in Gettysburg.

Dwight and Mamie's bedroom in Gettysburg

In 1853, Franklin Pierce's last surviving child, 11-year-old Benny, was crushed by a train which rolled down an embankment-- after Pierce was elected but before his inauguration.  Mrs. Pierce became a recluse and President Pierce struggled with the presidency.

The Teddy Roosevelt family had quite a menagerie of children and pets.  The pony, Algonquin was allowed free reign of the children's bedroom and was often brought upstairs on an elevator.

Well, I digress.  You see why I like reading biographies!  Truth is stranger than fiction.  I have digressed quite frequently when reading presidential biographies because sometimes I feel the need to read a biography of the first lady too:  the Adams wives, Dolley Madison, Mary Lincoln, Julia Grant... to name a few.  Fascinating!

I had gotten the whole way from George Washington up to John F. Kennedy.  I never thought I'd bog down in his biography, but I did.  A couple of years ago.  I kept renewing the book at the library and just couldn't finish it.  But now that I'm "finishing stuff," I decided to get back to it.  I chose a JFK biography by a different author and just started over.  There's nothing boring about JFKs life, so I must have gotten stuck on the Cuban Missile Crisis or something before.  But I am going to finish this one.  Then it's on to LBJ!

And by the way, speaking of finishing stuff, isn't it great that God always finishes stuff?  Including the work He's doing on me!

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Learning to be Happy

I learned something new:  "happiness" can be learned and acquired through effort and discipline.  Now, I know that as Christians we are told that happiness is different than the deep, abiding joy we can know with the certainty of our salvation. So let's just say that being outwardly and inwardly happy (contented, joyful, relaxed, cheerful, lighthearted) is something that should be much easier for Christians than non-Christians because we have God as our strength, our Rock, our salvation, our friend, our helper and our adviser.  Christians should be the happiest people on earth.  The problem is that I know a LOT of Christians who aren't very joyful or even happy.  What's the deal?

Well, a few weeks ago I checked a book out of the library after hearing a friend talk about it and reading some magazine articles by the author:  The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  I didn't have high expectations when I started it because I thought it would be another silly self-help book with no real substance.  What I found was a thoughtful, intelligent, well-researched, well-documented, fun-to-read and actually quite helpful book!  Now Gretchen is not a Christian (she identified herself as an agnostic in the book) but so many of the "happiness" principles she talked about are backed up by scripture.  And as a person, I found a "kindred spirit" in Gretchen.  We both love to read and write, are extreme list-makers, tend to be critical in nature, and have a natural bent toward being-- shall we say-- less than happy.

I'm just going to share some nuggets I gleaned from her writing.  I don't really care if you agree, I have merely found that they make sense to me and have actually turned me to a deeper dependence and trust in Jesus as the source of my true happiness.

1.  Acting happy and being happy can be learned skills even if that's not your natural personality bent.

2.  Goals are something you reach.  Resolutions are something you keep (they don't end).  The author constantly keeps a list of current resolutions she's working on that will contribute to her happiness.  Things like "cutting people slack."

3.  What's fun for other people may not be fun for you, and vice versa.

4.  "Happiness comes not from having more, not from having less, but from wanting what you have."  (Sounds like scriptures I've read about being content in all circumstances.)

5.  You'll be happier if you just be yourself.  Acknowledge what makes you happy, not what you wish made you happy.  Many times we don't approve of our own preferences or "likes."  Sometimes I may wish I liked working out or watching sports or decorating cakes or planning large parties, but I don't.  I do like watching old movies, reading lots of books, photography, writing and taking long walks.

6.  When you're pursuing your passion, don't worry about getting results.  That's what keeps a passion enjoyable.  You see, I like photography and I like writing.  This means that blogging is perfect for me.  If I get bogged down in how many people are reading my blog or whether I'm saying stunningly original things, I'll never post anything.  I blog because I enjoy it.  Period.

7.  Realize that many people don't want to be happy or even to seem to be happy.  There's probably nothing you can do about them and their refusal to be happy, but you don't have to let their moods take over yours.

8.  Some people say they don't have a right to be happy because there is so much suffering around.  But being unhappy doesn't relieve any suffering, and if you are cheerful perhaps you're more likely to actually improve the atmosphere around you and be more of a mind to help suffering people.

9.  Some people use their own unhappiness to gain pity or attention or to inspire guilt.  Don't get sucked in.

10.  It's actually more selfless to act happy than unhappy.  It takes discipline, energy, generosity, humility and tremendous effort.

11.  It  takes discipline, energy, generosity, humility and tremendous effort to appear happy and indeed to be happy.  This bears repeating.  As many times as possible.

12.  Be willing to be pleased about things rather than looking for opportunities to critique things.  Train yourself to "give positive reviews" rather than negative critiques.

13.  If something is worth doing, it's worth doing badly  (This sounds bad out of context.  It refers to not letting perfectionism or fear of failure keep you from pursuing a passion).

14.  If you can do it in less than a minute, do it now.  (Procrastination and clutter are the source of much unhappiness for many people).

15.  Do what ought to be done.

16.  Cut people slack.  Realize that you don't know what's going on in that rude salesperson's life.  Cut them some slack and don't get so bent out of shape.  Same goes for annoyances brought on by family members.  Just cut them some slack for a change.

17.  Be a satisficer:  don't examine every single option before making a decision.  Be happy when you find something (a purchase, a vacation destination...you get the idea) that meets your requirements, then look no further.  A "maximizer" drives themselves crazy by checking out every possible option before making a choice, then often continues searching after a choice is made just to make sure they did the right thing!  Maybe good enough is good enough.

So, those are some of the concepts that were helpful to me.  Please just read the book for yourself if you're interested in the topic.  I skimmed some sections that I wasn't interested in, but most of it was fascinating and enlightening.

Be happy today!

Or maybe I should say bee happy.  I like puns.

Virtual vs Actual Travel Experiences

Exotic animals.

Unique foods.

Lush vegetation.

Mysterious antiquities.

Picturesque views.

 Exhilarating adventures.

Fascinating people.

More stamps in your passport.

Foreign travel is exciting.  Exhilarating even.  It's a great bonding experience for friends or family traveling together.  I have only been able to get to a couple of foreign locales so far.  My kids, however, have been to Haiti, Namibia, Ecuador, Rwanda, Spain, Italy, Croatia, Portugal, Austria, Germany... I can't even remember all the places.  Our son and daughter-in-law even have a blog just to chronicle their travels while they are living abroad for a few years. I enjoy living vicariously through them.

Since I don't get the opportunity to personally visit all the places I would eventually like to see, hear, smell, touch and taste, I often enjoy reading books or blogs that take me there.  For us women, the Sisterchicks books are great for fun and inspirational stories involving virtual travel.  After reading Sisterchicks in Gondolas I knew I wanted to gaze upon the canals of Venice myself and taste creamy gelato served at an outdoor cafe there some day.  Recently I devoured, not gelato, but another book that has me yearning to visit Italy:  The Girl in the Glass by Susan Meissner.

The descriptions of Florence, Italy and many of the unparalleled Renaissance works of art are enchanting and intriguing.

 I really want to stand and gaze at the statues and paintings, sniff the earthy scent of Italian coffee, taste melt-in-your-mouth porcini mushrooms, and stroll down ancient streets.

For now, I will content myself with virtual travel through blogs and books.  Here's a review of  The Girl in the Glass by Susan Meissner in case you want to indulge in some virtual travel yourself!

This lilting book colors Florence, Italy with a magical ambiance.  Stories of three different women are woven together as an illustration of fatherly neglect, family heartbreak and ultimate healing.  16th century Nora Orsini of the famed Medici family tells her story in the midst of present-day Florence native Sofia's story.  They have parallel experiences and both find solace in art and faith.  Both of those women speak into the life of main character Meg, an American woman who grapples with family issues, men issues and work issues.  As a travel book editor, she meets Lorenzo and Renata, writers from Florence, and ends up traveling to their city and staying with their neighbor and aspiring author, the aforementioned Sofia.  Sofia introduces Meg to both Nora and the art-filled city of Florence where they jointly seek healing for past heartaches.  Meg needs to figure out how to love her promise-breaking father, deal with her feelings toward her mother's boyfriend, and basically learn to make her own decisions about life and love.

The writing is lovely; infusing humor, poignancy and wonder into a story featuring disappointment, confusion and ultimate healing.  "Imagine that you've been empowered to believe Renaissance isn't just a word; it's the essence of rebirth; it's what happens when you dare to believe what is isn't what it has to be; it can be remade."  And this is the essence of The Girl in the Glass:  Nora, Sofia and Meg all learn what it means to say that "Your life is what you make of it, not what happens to you."  An enchanting read.

I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers in exchange for my honest review.  Even though the book was free, I promise that I woulda told you if I didn't like it!

How are you? "Can't Complain."

What's your battle?  One of my continuing, ongoing, life-long battles has to be criticizing/complaining/judging.  All three of those things are facets of the same sin.  Sigh.  It's one of those things that I can't seem to get a handle on once and for all.

Maybe I need to draw a public line in the sand.  That seems pretty scary to me.  This idea came to me after reading a book by Phil Callaway called To Be Perfectly Honest.  The subtitle is "One Man's Year of Almost Living Truthfully Could Change Your Life.  No Lie."

The cover doesn't look like something I'd normally read, but I like humor, so I thought I'd give it a try.  I'm so glad I did!  Phil's publisher asked him to write a book about what it's like to go for entire year telling the absolute truth all day, every day, for a whole year.  And he even told his friends and family what he was doing.  That meant they could ask him all kinds of questions and he'd have to answer truthfully.  The results are funny, touching and revealing.  As a comedian, Phil has a way of saying things that made me constantly say to whoever was in the room, "Ya gotta hear this!  It's so funny!"  But he also deals truthfully with life situations like his mom's dementia and the betrayal of a friend.    And yes, the whole book is written from a Christian perspective and he's not afraid to deal with difficult stuff like anger with God.  The book ends up with Phil deciding that he's not ready to back down after a year.  Truth-telling is a way of life he comes to appreciate.

This brings me back to the criticizing/complaining/judging:  could I maybe just stop it for a period of time?  Like Phil Callaway, I'm sure I would find a commitment like this extremely challenging and there would be times of failure, but what an opportunity to learn and grow.  (If you think you are already totally honest or totally uncomplaining, I wonder...)  And just like striving for honesty, it's not like it should be an option for a Christian to strive for victory over complaining and criticizing!  We act like we "can't help it", but if God commands something, we are supposed to do it.  Let's see, what are some commands with regard to criticizing, complaining and judging?

Remember what happened to the Israelites after they complained about the lack of variety in their miraculous food supply?  They ended up wandering around in a desert for 40 years and missing out on the Land of Milk and Honey entirely.  Then there's Philippians 2:14  "Do everything without grumbling or arguing."  And Luke 6:37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."  

Well, I'm not going to write a book right now... I'll just let you know how it goes.  And feel free to come right out and ask me how it's going.  Accountability is good.  I realize I haven't put a timeline on this, because I'm still concerned about a total crash and burn failure.  I'm a work in process-- a LOT of work!

Here goes... no more complaining about the weather, rising property taxes, hot flashes or stupid drivers. No criticizing people for not being up to my "standards" or judging them for having different opinions than mine.

Besides trying to develop a more Christ-like character, this should further my quest to be a sweet old lady someday.

The other day I asked a 5-year-old how old he thought I was.  He said "99."  (Then he asked when I was going to be 30 like his mom).  You see, the "old" part of sweet old lady is inevitable.  The "sweet" part is not a given.

By the way, the book review included in this post is in return for a free copy of the book from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers, but the review is honest and not swayed by this fact.